Happy 84th birthday, Dad

10 quotes about my father
Today is my father's birthday. If he were still here, he would be 84 years old. The following are 10 quotes about him from his family.
1. His father, Roger F. Widtfeldt, said, "John Wendell Widtfeldt was born on June 1, 1926 while we lived at 366 Lincoln Avenue, Council Bluffs. He was so anxious to come that he couldn’t wait for the doctor. So I had to try and be the doctor. He persisted so I said, 'All right, come along.' That looks like me looking out the window in that photo because I sure was! I was waiting for that doctor to come. Finally, she drove out here so I rushed out and told the doctor, 'Hey, he’s here already.' She came up there and took care of him and he’s gotten along very fine since." from left: Allan, Grandpa, John (Dad), Art, Grandma, Jim, Kathleen.
Grandma Anina was particular about correct speech and grammar and it troubled her that Roger was not. With his Swedish background, he had not paid much attention to good English grammar. Before she consented to marry him, he had to promise he would never say “Ain’t.” Roger did not even have an eighth grade education due to his family's need for him to work on the farm. Anina's father felt education was important and wanted her to attend college. Anina married Roger but continued her lifelong interest in learning and education. Her sister, Hazel, went to Columbia University and became a high school teacher. My father, John, became a gifted writer.from left: Kathleen, Ben, Jim, John, Art, Allan

2. His father also said, "We had so many kids I sometimes wonder how we managed to take a vacation, but we did. I made a little trailer and we tied it behind the car. We loaded as many kids into it as we could, and put the rest of them in the car, and away we’d go. We had some very nice times that way. We took this picture along the road in Nebraska on the running board of my Ford coupe." (Could this have been the beginning of Dad's wanderlust? More likely it was his reason for buying a motorhome.)

back row from left: Ben, Kay, John, Allan, Art, Jim.
front row from left: Rose, Roger, Marianne, Anina, Ed, Pat.

3. His brother, Arthur, said, "Roger would read the scriptures to the family and have each of them read a verse in turn every morning, then they would all kneel in prayer. He would have the boys pray first to see how things were going there, then he would pray last. Once, John had been engaged in some nefarious activity so when it was Jim’s turn to pray, he asked that John would be helped of the Lord to be a good boy. John quickly followed that with a deep, 'Amen.' It was impossible to keep going after that. Even Roger could not keep a straight face."

His daughter, Dorothy, said, "Dad taught me faith in the Lord through his lessons, his words and his actions. He loved the scriptures and I remember the times he would gather us together and read them. And he loved to worship the Lord through music. I’m grateful to know some of his favorite hymns. He would tell us that when he was growing up as a child, there was singing in his home frequently, and he brought that into our home as well."

4. His son, John Roger, said, "My father and my mother had a mutual devotion throughout their lives together, defending and supporting each other in their decisions. It was exemplary for us. Even when the rest of the world does not keep commitments, they were able to model for us commitment to their marriage."

5. Jan, "My father enjoyed sharing the things he loved with his family. Several times, we ate on board his ship when it was in port. It was always an elegant occasion in the officers' dining room with just our family and Filipino waiters in formal attire. When we went to Sweden with him, he treated us to dinner at Stortorgskälleran, a place established in 1521 where he ate as a student at the University of Stockholm. We had crayfish."

6. Jan, "I share my father's love for his Swedish and Danish heritage and I loved doing family history research with him. One especially exciting find was on a trip to Sweden when we discovered our ancestral farm from the mid 1800s, met the current owner and had a royal tour of the home and grounds."

7. John Roger said, "My children said a significant memory they have of Grandpa is when we were in California for Sarah’s wedding and we drove down and visited the Queen Mary all together. Dad was able to tell how he had crossed the ocean on that ship. We grew up doing a lot of activities. We went to boat shows, air shows, home shows and car shows. I remember driving down to Annapolis every year in the fall for the boat show. It was very nice, although we hardly spent any money. Dad had multiple levels of interest. Everything he could plan and visualize, he did, such as sailing across the ocean, flying across the country, driving across continents. He included us in his interests. He lived a rich life."

left: John, Steve, Jan, Dorothy, Mom, Dad, Margaret, Wendy, David, Pete
8. His son, David, said, "I appreciate the lessons I learned from my father and the example he was to me. My father is my example of the kind of man I try to live up to be. I have many friends who live their life based on the attitude, 'I’m going to be the kind of man my father never was.' Their father is the anti-example. What a blessing it is to have an honorable example."

Here my father administered the military oath of alliegence to my son.
9. His son, Steven, said, "Of the characteristics that I most remember my dad for, self-sacrifice is first, absolute humility is second, and wisdom is third. Dad came a long way from Council Bluffs, Iowa to command ships and sail the seas of the world. He taught himself to fly and he flew his plane across the country. He was a very smart guy, but he was never proud. He was wise enough with his four sons to never let us get too proud either. He had a certain dry way of bringing you back to earth if you ever strayed in that path. Never once in my life did I ever hear him boast and he had plenty that he could boast about."

10. His son, Peter, said, "I have come to realize as my life has progressed that everything I can identify of substance, whether it be with my family, my career or other choices, links back to lessons I learned from my father. I will always be grateful for that. In the role as a parent, when a child has misbehaved, a natural reaction is to correct in ways that are severe, but I have drawn on my father’s example and have under reacted. In the end, you are always more grateful for that. You are grateful for the reaction it receives from the child and the fact that you are not sorry for what you said after you have said it."
NEXT WEEK: 10 Small Defining Moments